You’re Not “Too Sensitive”

A concept that started gaining attention in the late 1990s has been showing up more and more lately — Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). It’s often talked about in connection with ADHD, but it isn’t limited to it. In fact, rejection sensitivity has long been explored in the context of attachment wounds and trauma, even though it’s not an official diagnosis in the DSM (yet).

RSD describes a neurological overactivity of the amygdala, the brain’s alarm system, which interprets real or perceived rejection as intense emotional pain. No one likes rejection, but for those with this kind of sensitivity, even minor criticism or disapproval can feel overwhelming. The nervous system floods with emotion, and regulating it can feel almost impossible in the moment.

When someone grows up with chronic stress, trauma, or attachment wounding, the brain wires itself for hypervigilance — the amygdala becomes overactive, and the prefrontal cortex (the part that helps with regulation and perspective) underdevelops. Emotional memories get stored with alarm instead of context, so small cues later in life can trigger outsized reactions.
When you understand this, the shame starts to lift. It makes sense. For a child, rejection is life-threatening — love and connection are survival.

Rejection also activates the same brain regions as physical pain, which explains why it can feel unbearable. The sensations are real — racing heart, tight chest, sweaty palms, hot flashes, shortness of breath. These physical responses can spiral into more anxiety, and shame only amplifies the cycle. You might find yourself asking, “What’s wrong with me?” or hearing, “You’re too sensitive,” which only deepens the wound.

The truth is, nothing is wrong with you. Understanding how your brain is wired helps to remove the stigma around your reactions. 

Learning self-regulation skills — like grounding, deep breathing, or mindfulness — can help calm the nervous system. 

Medication and lifestyle can stabilize brain chemistry. 

Therapy and self-compassion practices can build self-worth and safety from the inside out. 

And over time, safe and secure relationships help the brain relearn what connection feels like.

At its core, this isn’t a flaw. It’s a nervous system that learned to protect connection at all costs. 

Many people can relate to feeling easily rejected or misunderstood — even when no rejection was intended. That’s one way rejection sensitivity can shape perception. I noticed this pattern in myself over the years. After a brain injury in my late 20s, I was prescribed an antidepressant that brought a sense of balance my brain had likely been missing since childhood — balance that trauma had quietly disrupted long ago. For the first time, I began to see how distorted my perceptions had been. Years later, I was surprised to learn that people from high school remembered me positively — a reality that felt worlds apart from how I saw myself then. 

Remember, RSD isn’t a formal diagnosis — but it’s an important conversation. If you struggle with self-worth or feel “too sensitive,” this might help you see your experience through a gentler, more informed lens.

Eva