Your Brain Is Not Broken

Neurodivergence is a word that gets thrown around a lot, and I would venture to say most of us don’t exactly know what it means. It’s typically referenced when talking about autism or adhd, but it encompasses so much more. When contrasted with its counterpart—neurotypical—it starts to give some insight.

Children’s brains develop at an amazing speed, especially in the first seven years. Synapses and patterns are laid. Sensory input is labeled and categorized. Safe/not safe is an example; another is smoke=danger. The amygdala, located at the base of the brain, is a primary funnel for all this data. It is constantly busy tagging and identifying information with the primary goal of survival.

When caregivers offer attunement and safety, the nervous system can do its work in a typical, or “normal,” way. But when there is a lack of emotional or physical safety, the brain becomes overactive in its search for protection. Essentially, this “programming” is what we carry with us through life. A brain that is chronically heightened is anxious and hypervigilant. It prioritizes scanning for safety above all else. This is where we find neurodivergence. Neuro = brain/nervous system. Divergent = different.

I work with many clients who struggle with over-functioning and heightened awareness. As one client worded it: “I learned to read rooms before I learned to read.” Often, clients carry a tremendous amount of shame about these brain differences. Others may not understand—or may have shamed them for being different. Phrases like, “why can’t you get it together?” or “snap out of it” only add to the original trauma that caused the divergence in the first place. Much of our work together involves untangling the shame that comes with being different.

Here are some examples of the many ways neurodivergence can manifest:

• Cognition and emotion: thinking in nonlinear ways, processing information differently, feeling emotions intensely or being overwhelmed by them, hyperfocusing on things that capture interest, black and white thinking, catastrophizing

• Sensory experience: being highly sensitive to sounds, lights, textures, or movement—or, at the opposite end, seeking certain sensations to feel regulated.

• Social interactions: struggling with unwritten social rules, needing more recovery time after socializing, or masking natural behaviors to fit in.

• Daily life and executive functioning: difficulty initiating tasks, keeping track of time, or organizing information, sometimes alongside bursts of incredible productivity or creativity.

As you can see, this is layered and nuanced, and it looks different from one person to the next. Neurodivergence often goes hand in hand with trauma because the brain didn’t have a chance to develop under “typical” conditions.

Many people grow up hearing that these traits are flaws—that they’re lazy, dramatic, or irresponsible—rather than understanding them as signs of a differently developed nervous system. This mismatch between inner experience and outer expectations can create deep shame, self-doubt, and chronic masking. Healing begins when people understand why their brains and bodies operate differently and start relating to themselves with curiosity rather than judgment.

Neurodivergence is not just “differences to overcome”—it’s a different way of experiencing the world. Some examples of positive aspects include:

• Creativity and innovation: seeing connections others might miss and thinking outside the box.

• Deep focus and expertise: the ability to immerse deeply in areas of interest, building knowledge or skill at a level few can.

• Sensitivity and intuition: heightened awareness of people, environments, or details that others overlook, ability to "read a room"

• Authenticity and loyalty: valuing depth over superficiality, showing up genuinely in relationships and work.

• Resilience and resourcefulness: navigating a world that isn’t designed for them often cultivates unique problem-solving skills.

navigating neurodivergance

Living with neurodivergence means learning to navigate both the strengths and the challenges of your unique brain. Here are some ways to honor and manage both sides:

• Recognize your patterns – Notice what energizes you versus what drains you.

• Build supportive structures – Use routines, reminders, or sensory-friendly adjustments to reduce overwhelm.

• Practice self-compassion – Challenges are not failings—they are part of your wiring.

• Communicate your needs – Share what supports you with others.

• Balance energy – Honor rest and recovery to prevent overwhelm.

supporting your brain with medication

For some neurodivergent people, medication can help manage specific symptoms and make life feel more manageable, without changing who they are at their core. Medications can support attention, mood regulation, anxiety, sleep, or sensory processing, depending on individual needs.

Medication is one tool among many, and it works best in combination with therapy, lifestyle strategies, environmental adjustments, and self-care practices. Using medication does not make you “less capable” or “less authentic.” It simply supports your brain so your natural strengths can flourish.

Neurodivergence isn’t something to “fix.”

It’s a different way of experiencing the world.

Your brain is not broken. It’s beautifully, uniquely wired.

Eva