This Is What Healing Actually Looks Like Part 6

Written By Eva Whitmer, LPC, NPT-C

What To Actually Say to Yourself In Those Moments

Once you’re regulated enough to turn inward…

A lot of people get stuck here.

They ask:
“Okay… now what?”

Because it’s one thing to notice what’s happening.

It’s another thing to know how to respond to yourself differently.

Most of us don’t have a natural, compassionate inner voice.

We have an internal dialogue that sounds more like:

  • “Why are you like this?”

  • “You’re overreacting.”

  • “This is stupid.”

  • “Just get it together.”

So when you try to “talk to yourself” in a healthier way…

It can feel awkward. Forced. Even fake.

But this is where the shift happens.

Instead of trying to say the perfect thing,

Start here:

Talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love.

If a younger version of you were sitting in front of you—
upset, overwhelmed, triggered—

You wouldn’t shame them.

You wouldn’t rush them.

You wouldn’t tell them to “just calm down.”

You would slow down.

You might say:

  • “Hey… something really got to you just now.”

  • “That makes sense, given what you’ve been through.”

  • “I’m here. You’re not alone in this.”

  • “We don’t have to figure this out all at once.”

Notice what’s happening there.

You’re not fixing.
You’re not analyzing.

You’re relating.

And that’s what most parts of us actually need.

Not solutions.

Connection.

Sometimes it’s even simpler than words.

It might sound like:

  • “I’ve got you.”

  • “You’re okay.”

  • “We’re safe right now.”

At first, this might feel unnatural.

That doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

It just means it’s new.

Over time, this becomes your internal anchor.

Instead of abandoning yourself when things get hard…

You stay.

And that’s what begins to change everything.

Because healing isn’t just about understanding yourself.

It’s about learning how to be with yourself differently.

I’ve got you,

Eva

Eva Whitmer, LPC, NPT-C

Eva Whitmer, LPC, is a licensed trauma therapist in Kansas specializing in relational trauma, anxiety, and nervous system healing. She helps individuals move beyond traditional talk therapy by integrating evidence-based and experiential approaches that create lasting change.

With both professional training and lived experience of trauma, Eva understands how difficult it can be to trust, feel safe in your body, and truly let go of the past. Her work goes deeper than surface-level coping—guiding clients into meaningful transformation through modalities such as EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic therapy, and Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy.

Eva is passionate about helping clients reconnect with themselves, regulate their nervous systems, and step into a life of greater freedom, authenticity, and resilience. Her approach is intuitive, compassionate, and tailored to each individual’s healing process.

https://www.therisingsol.com
Next

This Is What Healing Actually Looks Like Part 5